Before I begin speaking about healing, we must realize that
there is no magic formula for healing or avoiding heartbreak. You will not heal over night. Healing is
a process you have to recognize your hurt and identify the source it comes
from. Sometimes God will allow you to
hit rock bottom before you can start to heal. Before hitting rock bottom, you
feel a tugging on your spirit. Telling you to leave before it gets worse but
you stay ignoring that feeling, thinking that you are over-thinking. Well that
tugging is nothing but the good ol’ holy spirit.
A lot
of us choose to hide our hurt. Masking it with a smile and never properly
healing from it. Sweeping it under the rug and allowing it to come back as
bitterness, when the mere thought of it rears its ugly head. We think we are so
in control when we get hurt. If we are so in control of our emotions why do we
make impulsive decisions when we are hurt like go and get a tattoo to signify
that this will never happen again (and it does), dye your hair, retail therapy
(spending money you don’t have), or getting a weird piercing. It is just a
tactic to show we are in control when really we aren’t. I am not saying that it
is wrong to do any of these things but when we do it to fill a void, it’s
something you’ll end up regretting. Here
is what I am saying; We must learn to forgive and not allow hurt to control our
lives.
It may
seem impossible to forgive the person that hurt you. Every time you think about
their repulsive actions toward you thinking how could they do that to me? Etc.
But you must realize that all things are possible through Christ. Realize that
God can and wants to fix your broken heart.
“he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalms 147:3)
Just
remember you play a huge role in a play called healing. Stop moping around, stop playing what happened over and
over in your head. Stop dwelling and throwing the past back in your own face.
That’s like eating your own throw up. Are you a dog? Didn’t think so. Your
starting a huge fight in your head and your heart. Healing and becoming whole
in Christ is a serious matter. How do you expect to live a worthy life if you
can not forgive. “Lord how often will my
brother sin against me, and I forgive him?” As many as seven times. Jesus said
I do not say to you seven times but seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22)
After you choose to forgive
bless and pray for that person. “Bless
those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” (Luke 6:28) I know your
thinking, “Hold up, wait a minute, pump the breaks, This person basically
crushed my heart and expect me to pray for them?” Yes I do and not only do I
expect you to do it, God expects you to do it. This is exactly how you avoid
bitterness. Bitterness does nothing for you. When your praying ask God for
deliverance and freedom from whatever your situation may be. “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in
prayer believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever
you stand praying,forgive if you have anything against anyone, so that your
father also who is heaven may forgive you.” (Mark 11:24-25)
Think of it like this you
don’t want to die, get to the pearly gates and God say “turn from me I never
knew you.” And just like that your banished to hell because you did not forgive
some person who hurt your feelings. Ask yourself “Is it really worth your
eternity?” It is awesome to forgive but don’t be a door-mat. I am a Christian
not a fool, I wont let you walk all over me. I will love you from a distance
and pray God blesses you. So when you spend time with God lay your hurt pain
and unforgiveness at his feet. You
cannot do this by yourself. Point Blank. With man it is impossible but with
God all things are possible.
How to avoid Hurt and Heart Break in every relationship
1.)
Turn the relationship over to God. If he is the
foundation of your relationship, then that is a strong relationship.
2.)
Set some Standards. Many of the times we think
we have standards because the person we are dating is above 6 feet. True. That
is not a standard. If you guys are courting set the standard of waiting until
you are married. If it is just a friendship establish boundaries, keep certain
things private. People like to use what you said in privacy in a public fight.
3.)
Is it pushing you closer to Christ? Any
relationship that pushes you closer to Christ is going to be a challenge. Their
going to push you to pray harder and get closer to God. Remember some people
are comfortable with where you are in your walk with Christ. They can handle
the fact that you go to church on Sundays and have your quality time with God
but are good with you still going to the club with them. If you want to go
higher you have to drop certain things.
4.)
TEST EVERYTHING THEY SAY. “But test everything; cling to what is good.” (1st
Thessolonians 5:21) Ask God to show you their hearts and their motives.
Believe him when he shows you. Ask him for discernment, he gives us common
sense for a reason.
5.) “and all their intellectual arrogance that oppose the knowledge of God. We take every thought captive so that it is obedient to Christ.” (2 cor 10:5) We must cast down our imaginary thoughts.
Females in general have the tendency to play out an entire love story in our
heads all because the cute cook at McDonalds said hi.
6.) “Guard your heart above all else; for it
determines the course of your life.” (Proverbs 4:23) This speaks for it
self and goes along with number 5 also. You got to stay away from the music
that tells you that Love is found in sex. And if you know a person is bad news
stay away. I honestly do not feel bad if I tell a person to dismiss themselves
from my life. Like I said before I am not a doormat. If it is in Gods will they
will come back. You have a part to play in every aspect of your life you do not
just become a victim because of someone else. Overlooking warning signs and not
guarding your heart is something that we fail at because we don’t take
accountability for our actions.
Jesus forgave those who beat him, pierced him, broke his
arm, put a crown of thorns on his head, crucified him and killed him. All the
while he still prayed for them. During your healing process focus on how much
better your going to be after this. How nothing will be able to touch you,
youll be able to recognize so much when it is over. So cliché but think of how
beautiful the sun shines after a terrible storm.
