The Self-worth Struggle

                Have you ever struggled with self-worth? Have you been constantly comparing yourself to women or men on Television or social media sites? Have you ever tried something and quit because you did not feel qualified or good enough? Is that voice in the back of your head constantly telling you, your not pretty, you cannot compete with her/him, you’ll never get that job. Have you ever stayed in a relationship that you knew was bad because that person makes you feel like you matter or your worth something? Well if you have said yes to any of these questions then this is for you.

                First, let’s get into what exactly Self-worth is. It is defined as dignity, the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect. Have you ever seen a girl who constantly refers to herself as the baddest B or goes out on weekends with the skimpiest outfits on just to get some attention. She won’t say out loud that she finds self-worth in men who “holla” at her and women who stare at her out of jealousy but she does. When she gets home at night and changes her clothes and realizes that there is no one there to give her attention she will most likely go on a social network and post a picture just for someone to compliment her, so she can feel good. This my friend, is a classic case of high self-esteem and low self-worth. Or the man who finds value in his self by how many girls he can get, he is willing to play whoever whenever. Not even keeping in mind whose heart he is hurting along the way. Or the man who finds value in athletics, nothing will get in the way of his game not even spending time with God. Another classic case of no self-worth.

We should not find value in things that can be taken away so easily. Instead of finding your worth in a man, turn to the one who Loves you for you and believes your worthy to share his kingdom in heaven and that is God. It says in Isaiah 2:22, “Do not put your trust in mere humans they are as frail as breath what good are they?”  People are as frail as breath why should we put them on this pedestal to make us feel good about ourselves. Many people struggle with self-worth because they do not know who they are. Well look to the one who made you. “So God created mankind in his own image. In the image of God he created them: male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27) So if we were created in his image then why wouldn’t our Identities be found in Christ? If we know that our identity is found in Christ we should not have to look at TV, media, social networks to find out who we are. But when secular music is your bible and who you answer to when your day is bad or good your unconsciously using that as the standard to live your life to. So no wonder you don’t feel good about yourself you think your supposed to be a dime, that’s 5’5 with green eyes, caramel complexion and a busty figure. But in reality your about 5’7 with a slim frame and skin the color of a hersheys bar. Now I am not saying that any of this is ugly because it is not we are all made in his image. Women are not the only ones who use the world as their standard of living, men do too. With music telling men they don’t mean much unless they are surrounded by plenty of women or the television shows that are basically saying if someone is not competing for you then your not doing much with your life. When you listen to the world your using that as a standard of living, beauty and worth and you don’t even realize it. 

“If you cling to your life you will lose it but if you lose your life you will find it.” (Matthew 10:39)

I am not writing this blog to say that if you look pretty you have low self-worth what I am saying is find your worth in the one who loves you so much that he laid down his life for you. Does that person or thing you find value in love you so much that it will lay down his life for you? I think not. If you know you have low self-worth, pour your heart out at the feet of Jesus. Pray and ask him to heal you and make you whole. He is the only one who is capable of making you feel whole, he breathes life into you everyday. He gives us life, why would he not complete us and make us feel like we are worth something. Have you ever had a horrible day and once you told someone about it you felt better? Well bring your problems to God, you can be completely honest (He already knows the truth) and he will still accept you and Love you because he created you. You cannot say this about people today, many people will judge you and give you a side eye even the ones closest to you.

“A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones” (Prov 12:4) If your not married, be a crown for your husband who is Jesus, look good, wear your best outfits because you are representing the most high. Crowns are meant to be shown off. If you want to strengthen your self-worth, drop the magazine that is telling you to lose 10 inches off of your waist, stop listening to the music that tells you your not beautiful and turn off the television shows that are glorifying fighting and bringing other women and men down. Turn away from that guy that makes you feel like your not good enough because he wants to be with other people and turn away from that woman who is causing your life to take a drastic spiral downwards. Turn to the man who created you. “And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid, you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” (Matthew 10:30-31)

Now once I can find something that knows the amount of hairs on my head I will put my value in it but until that day comes, I will continue to find my worth in the Lord. As my walk with the Lord gets stronger, frivolous things that I use to find value in do not define me anymore. “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.” (Matthew 7:6) I now realize how valuable I am as a child of God, I didn’t know this before so I pray that even if just one person reads this, they will realize their worth and turn from their old ways and put their everything in to Christ.